Since the last post I have been think about, Why is it that sometimes I have the balance I want and other times I feel out of balance.
I was thinking that when I am being aware, I am judging, I am selecting, I am being very conscious about my values and my principles and I use them to make choices that makes me happy. Then I find my balance.
But when I am making choices based on what other people fell and think about me, then suddenly I feel out of balance. Because I am compromising my principles and values.
What I think is that, our fundamental fear of not being loved, not experiencing love and that we would not be like, makes us compromise ourselves. For instant, I am invited to a party and I am really tied to go and still say yes, because I am worried what they will think about me or how they will feel; I get our of balance.
Because my body is sending me signals that I should not go, I am too tied, I have been working too hard and I need to rest. I am compromising everything and still going, instead taking responsibilities for my own feelings I am considering other peoples feelings.
Why do we do that?
Why don’t we take responsibilities for our own feelings?
I think I was in late 30es when I learnt to say no. I was really afraid of how people would react and what they would think about me. But they were actually very understand when I stared to tell them my truth. Because they were experiencing the same thing. It was much easier for them to say no to me, when it did not suit them to help me.
I now take a break, and think; does this make me compromise myself? What do I want to do? What would give me joy and happiness? What would be better for my health?
I actually do think about all of these things, and I choose my family more often. I choose to spend more time with my family. My kids are growing up soooo fast and I want to absorb as many memories I can and create as many experiences as I can, as long as I have them.
When they are grown up and moved out, I might feel much more free and not feel that I am compromising anything. Or neglecting them.
I am not saying we should not help other people or supportive, or be there for other people. Of course we should! But I also think we should analyse, what it means for us to be there for someone else.
Are you there for yourselves first?
Because If you are then you can be there for somebody else!
Being aware of my principles and my values is giving me the tools to make good decisions for myself. I am listening to my feelings. Because my feelings are my compose; it is guiding me in the direction I want to go. Making it easier for me to create the life I want to live.
Tell me; what is your compass?
How do you make the difficult decisions and restore balance in your life?